at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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