...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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