Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
