Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
