No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
