Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
