he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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