Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Fuck appropriateness.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
