so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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