shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
