1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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