i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I didn't notice because vodka
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
