Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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