yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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