we're blogging at a bar
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
