Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm too high and old for this...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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