possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
