This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
