we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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