Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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