It's Friday. Sex?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
