He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My dick has a subreddit
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
try to milk me bitch
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