so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
