she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i now understand why vodka
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
