I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
