this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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