Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
