It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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