I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
