Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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