Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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