U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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