At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Someone signed my nipple.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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