i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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