NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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