You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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