Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
