Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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