well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
