What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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