Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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