Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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