do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
