hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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