Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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