I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
