I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
