Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
