I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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