He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
