im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just want to make out with him forever
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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