dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
