He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
