Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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