I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
