I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
