One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
40s are totally the cure
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
