She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
